Respect

This is the acrostic that my students and I wrote about respect. Please note that the E's used to read bE polite and bE kind. I've found it helpful in reminding my students of our class rules.

R EACT CALMLY
E MPATHIZE
S TOP WHEN TOLD
P UT OTHERS FIRST
E NCOURAGE
C LEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF
T ELL THE TRUTH

What did I forget in defining resepct?

Traveling Vegetarianism

Friday was a friend’s birthday and since she lives over an hour away from me, my best friend and I decided to stay for the weekend. I decided to have my meat meal on Friday at the restaurant, but then I found out a) the restaurant had a portabella sandwich that sounded good and b) my friend bought steaks for dinner on Saturday night. So I decided to wait until the next day, and then since we ate lunch at a dinner that didn’t have a vegetarian choice (but did have AMAZING ice cream) it turned into meat day instead of meat meal. Anyway, even though I only decided to be a vegetarian on Monday, both my chili cheeseburger and my steak made me feel a little nauseated, so that was a little weird. We also planned on coming home on Saturday night because my friend is a teacher and her high school had graduation on Sunday. Somehow she got out of graduation, so we decided to stay and wound up having to run to Wal-mart (there aren’t many shopping choices in her small town) to pick up a few extra necessities we hadn’t brought. I went a little over budget, but it was super fun.
Also, we played The Game of Life, which I love. It was the oldest version and it was super fun. When I got married I said my husband was Chris O'Donnell (because another friend really likes Drew Fuller, so I didn't want to pick him and it had to be one of my TV boyfriends). I didn't realize everyone else would then want to name thier spouse when they got that far. Except for my friend's boyfriend. He thought it was awkward (they've been dating long neough people have asked) so he said he was marrying a pink peg. We laughed when he spun a ten and got no presents. Later he changed his mind and said his wife was Lois Lane. He then proceeded to name his children after hte Justice League and land on several spots where he got money for althetic fetes, so we told him he was clearly Bizzaro superman using his power for evil. Best friend wrote up some things she's going to chagne when she makes The Real Game of Life, so I'll let you know how that goes!
Tomorrow I go back to my normal life and hopefully stop craving Chicago style hot dogs!

Vegetarian

Okay internet, I’m trying not to make a big deal out of this but…I’m going vegetarian. I’ve done it for two days now, and while I’m new to it (i.e. until I get back from vacation in early July) I told myself I could eat meat once a week. I’m saving this week’s meat until Saturday when I’m going to a steak house for a friend’s birthday, which made tonight super hard. My work had our annual spring fling which means most of my students and several of their relatives all swarming my center from just before I got off at six until I got to leave at eight. For dinner we served hotdogs (which I now can't eat), and then I got to guard the moonwalk and blow $18 on raffle tickets. I won nothing and pretty much had watermelon for dinner. Here’s what I’ve noticed…
1. I get hungry a little more quickly than I used to, although that could be because I don’t really have any protein replacements yet (eggs, beans, nuts, cheese). Except cheese. I love cheese so I always have tons at home.
2. People clearly think I’m insane, unless they too are vegetarian. When I tell people the main response is “Why????” except for one parent at work who is vegetarian whose response was “Good for you. I’ll bring you some recipes tomorrow!” Thank you parent whose kid is not even in my class!
3. Cheese tortellini + chopped veggies + shredded cheese + Italian dressing = delicious salad that is completely filling and super satisfying
4. I said I would do it because it’s healthier AND cheaper. HA!! It is NOT cheaper. At least not I if don’t want to live off mac and cheese and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Produce is not cheap. Meat substitutes (Garden burgers, tofu, etc) are not cheap. Eating only at restaurants that support my new life style is hard and not cheap.
I don’t know how long I’ll last but I promised myself I would do it at least until vacation started and then access how I felt about it. I picked before vacation because I’m going with my two friends who are most definitely carnivores and I’m not sure how eating with them every day for a week will work if I’m an herbivore.

Busy weekend

Yesterday Best Friend and I took Niece and Nephew to the zoo. It was tons of fun, partly because Niece doesn’t know “Ms. Best Friend” very well so she wanted to hold my hand and made Best Friend carry Nephew in all the exhibits. This meant that Best Friend was completely exhausted when we got home and I was still feeling excited and energetic. You will, I’m sure, be pleased to learn that Nephew still knows the gorillas, and came even closer than “gerba” when he said “rilla”. He also learned “sheeee” while playing with the seals/sea lions in the underwater viewing space. I learned that if you save the tiger (my favorite animal, but kind of a boring zoo exhibit) for last, she has woken up and is playing. Nephew really seemed to like her so we watched for awhile and I told him stuff about the tiger and he learned to say “ger”. Also, he flat out refused to walk. He will stand, and he would walk if he could put his hand, however lightly, on something. He was clearly completely capable of walking, but he crawls faster than any kid I’ve ever seen. He literally crawls about as fast as Niece runs, so I think he didn’t want to slow himself down.
Today my SIL called me up to let me know he took his first steps. I told you he was capable. Yesterday crawling was more efficient and let me remain stable in the chaos of the park at the zoo. Today he was in his Sunday school class/nursery and he has older friends who walk, so he clearly needed to show them who’s the boss. I made SIL promise we would hang out this week so I could see because I won’t be able to babysit him on Saturday.
Also, I was supposed to get to see “The Mad King of Scotland” (AKA Macbeth) tonight. Sadly, it was not showing, perhaps because of poor attendance. So, if there’s community theatre near you, please go to see it, but I was PISSED to miss the Scottish play. And, also because I put on eyeliner to go out and wound up eating Thai food in my pjs, on my couch, watching The Secret Life of Elephants, Hancock, and Star Wars VI: The Return of the Jedi.

Further Cell Phone Drama Now With Car Drama!!

For some reason the cell phone alarm that I set to go off at 9:30 went off at 9:00 but it wasn’t that big a deal because I had woken up ever forty minutes or so since 4:15 for no apparent reason. Stevo was upstairs (an hour early) so I dealt with getting him everything he needed to do my brakes and got ready to go to the cell phone stores with the SIL.
Sadly, Niece came with because she has her third ear infection of the year. So we went to Sprint, where they were very nice about us returning my phone and getting the contract all fixed. Then we lied and said we were going to get the new one at Radio Shack because they’re cheaper. All the way across town we went to Verizon where we got our phones buy one, get one free. And they were super nice because Brother didn’t want the BOGO phone and they gave us three BOGO phone and the stupid cheap phone he wanted for the BOGO price (a hundred bucks for one $120 phone and three $350 phones). So my cell phone bill tripled but now I can go online and I have a VERY nice phone for waaay less than my stupid cheap crap phone.

Also, Brother did not get the brakes done so I still can’t drive. I have to pick up Niece and Nephew in Mom’s car tomorrow (which they are not really allowed in because she smokes) because Brother couldn’t get the tire off.  Mom's BF got it off though so Brother is coming tomorrow on his way home from work to finish the brake job. Thank God!!!

Worst Day EVER!!!!

So I wake up early this morning because my little bro is coming over. He and I are going to the grocery store so I can cook him some bulk dinners to freeze. Then I put my feet down off my bed and…they’re all cold and wet. Why are my feet cold and wet at O’ early thirty? Because my basement has flooded and that’s where I live. So, my mom and I get to drying stuff and the ex-boyfriend (who is moving out on Saturday) comes down. He takes a look around, picks up his two boxes and sets them where it’s dry, and then goes to play video games. Nice.
Next I remember that the brakes on my car are completely shot. Like grinding and scary. I have no money, so my little brother is going to put on the new pads for me, but he can’t do it until Sunday. Which means I have to walk to work. In the rain. Along flooded sidewalks. Nice.
Then I get to work and I talk to my students about respect, which has been an ongoing lesson. Today we were writing posters reminding us what respect means, and seriously every time we mentioned a way to show respect, this kid would do the exact opposite. Respect means keeping your hand to yourself [punch]. Respect means not talking when someone else is talking [starts yelling]. Respect means being kind [tells another kids she’s ugly]. Nice.
So we start cleaning our room (to show that they can respect something even if it’s not me). And the same kid from above seriously wrings a wet cold sponge out on another kid’s back. Nice.
I have to get ANOTHER new cell phone, because the Sprint people screwed up. I told them not to mess with the contract at all and somehow it got renewed (it’s not under my name, so I shouldn’t have that power) and all my SIL’s upgrade stuff disappeared, but I didn’t get it because I paid $104 for a $20 phone. So, we’re making them fix it and then changing to Verizon tomorrow, which is a hassle. Nice.
Finally, I get home and there’s literally no food in my house. So I need to go out for dinner. But I can’t because I can’t drive my car and only Mom's BF is home. So I sit in the chaise until like eight starving and cranky but can’t do anything about it. Thank God mom came home early so I could get her to drive me to dinner (even though I still had to pay for my own).
Hope you’re looking forward to the drama of a new phone tomorrow, cause that’s what you’re gonna be reading!

Babies and Kittens

Internet, do you remember when I told you that a good friend of mine was adopting and it is hard work (see http://tinasuntitledblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/so-it-just-came-to-my-attention.html)? Well I just found out that she might be getting a baby as soon as June third! So, if you’re a praying person, pray that it goes well and she gets the baby.
Also my work had kittens. No literally two weeks ago we found baby kittens behind our bike shed, they were about three weeks old at the time. We got all excited because they are adorable and Mama Cat let us play with the kittens. She even curled up on my lap and started purring for like a half hour. We found good homes for them and two of the four kittens went home this week. Then this morning we found out that a mom called a shelter and had the remaining two kittens and Mama picked up. It’s not a no kill shelter and so instead of Mama going home with my coworker in a week, she might get euthanized in two weeks. So when the mom came, I very nicely informed her that the kittens and Mama already had homes and asked if she could bring them back tomorrow. She YELLED at me internet! She yelled at me! I did nothing wrong and I was very careful to be polite but she yelled at me because we “need to do things properly” which apparently meant sending them to a shelter instead of finding homes. I called the shelter and left a message about the kittens, so hopefully they’ll be back tomorrow so I can get them sent to safe homes. I’ll keep you informed internet, but in the meantime, always ask before having strays picked up like that.

Bucket List

Today some friends and I were talking about our goals in life. The conversation inspired me to write my "bucket list". You can see my whole list on the side if you want, but here are my top ten items

1. Meet a president
2. Spend time inside the Smithsonian
3. Visit the White House, Supreme Court, and Capitol Building
4. Visit all seven continents
5. Go to all fifty states (not just drive on the highway)
6. Finish writing my cookbook
7. Own my own home
8. Write a novel
9. Earn a PhD
10. See Gettysburg

I do laugh at myself a little because I've actually done #3 and was within an hour of #10. However, since I couldn't go inside the Capitol Building or the White House and spent fifteen minutes total inside the Supreme Court I don't think it counts. Although I did see protestors outside the Supreme Court (pro-choice) and the White House (Nuclear War) so that was cool.
Tell me, what are your goals??

Dear Theatre Goers,

Despite the fact that I paid twelve dollars to see A Midsummer’s Night Dream, my real goal was to hear your cell phone ringtone. Therefore, please do not under any circumstances turn off your phone per the years of instruction from the mass use of cell phones began and the usher at the beginning of the show. Also, because my real goal is to hear about your life, not about the most complicated love triangle of Shakespeare’s time, please do not reject the call and return it at a more convenient time. It is much better if you go ahead and answer the call. It is clearly better for us all to hear this conversation…
“I can’t talk now. [short pause] No I’m at the theatre. [Short pause] A Midsummer’s Night Dream. [short pause] At the community college. [long pause] No it’s surprisingly good. I’ll tell you about it at dinner. (Please note that the show is ending at six and therefore the speaker is planning on meeting the caller almost immediately after the show.) [Short pause] Okay, bye.”

…than to hear Oberon explaining what the flower he wants Puck to pick for him will do therefore setting up the entire rest of the play. Also, by using your loudest stage whisper you can show your respect to the actors and to the rest of the theatre. I do so hope that I will run into you again next weekend at M*A*S*H.
Respectfully yours,


** A Note**
This actually happened last weekend. I did not intend on mentioning it, but I've been annoyed about it all week and I really am going to see another play tonight. Also, there was almost carnage in the lobby during intermission, as half the theatre was at least as annoyed as I was.

Dear Zoo Visitors,

Clearly we need to have a talk about zoo etiquette. Please read the following notes and make sure to adhere to these basic guidelines.

1. If you are in a darkened room (i.e. the bat house) please assume that you are NOT supposed to use flash photography. There was probably a sign to this effect outside of the habitat, but you clearly did not bother to read it. Let me assure you, if you insist on taking three pictures in rapid succession all using the flash, you will disturb the bats, and when you run screaming from the room, since the bats are not separated from the humans by any sort of barrier, I will laugh at you. In order to prevent looking like an idiot and making me the jerk who laughed at you, please follow the posted signs.
2. Just because you brought your six month old to the zoo, you do not have the right to shove the adults or older children enjoying the animals out of your way. I guarantee I am enjoying the exhibit much more than your child you can barely see past his own fist.
3. If your child must touch the animals, there is a children’s zoo containing safe and friendly animals who will enjoy being touched. Please do NOT allow your child to stand on tippy toes and reach into the habitats of animals with no barrier beyond the fence. Further, please do not lift your child up into the air so she can try to touch the giraffes nose since its “soooo close”.

If you follow these basic rules I will not be tempted to follow you out to the parking lot and key your car, or (more likely) turn you into zoo security when you break all three rules five seconds before security walks by.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to my next zoo visit, knowing that you will be more considerate now that we’ve had this little talk.

Cell phone swim

It turns out, cell phones don’t really like going for a swim. In fact, if your force yours to take one, it will decide that this is cause to turn off and refuse to ever turn on ever again. Then the cell phone store will charge you $104.46 for a new one. And the people will laugh at you to make sure you feel like a complete and total moron. Anyway…if you didn’t get my mass email asking you to give me your contact number again, please get back to me because the only numbers I had memorized were to Toom Toom Thai and In The Neighborhood Deli (my favorite places to eat).

Pay your bill you idiot!

So here’s what I learned today. If you don’t pay your bills, they will stop providing the service for you. For example, if you are for some reason an idiot you thought your bill was due on the fourth, and are way to lazy to pay it early, and then it turns out to have been due on the first when you try to get online on the third, you cannot. In fact you will get this stupid error message when you try to make your air card connect and it will take ten minutes before you realize, d’oh I should probably pay my bill. I am not that idiot of course. This never happened to me. I am of course talking about a friend.
In other news, screw the niece and nephew, I am going to the zoo by myself on Wednesday. It’s the last day of the members only bear grotto opening and my SIL said she doesn’t want to take the kids out of day care for the day (because it’s expensive), so WHATEVER I can go all alone. I might end up seeing the bears and everything in the dark rooms (because Naty is afraid of them) and then read until five, because I’m not driving forty five minutes to the zoo to not spend the whole dang day there.

A Midsummer's Night Dream

In July my book club is reading A Midsummer’s Night Dream because we always read Shakespeare in July. So when the community college was showing A Midsummer’s Night Dream today, clearly a few of us decided to go see it. First we ate at the country club, because we are fancy. When we got there one other group was sitting down but by the time we got our food we were alone. And remained alone the whole time we were there. So of course we then thought perhaps the restaurant had closed and we were just sitting there making them stay late, but no, we were just the only losers eating lunch at one thirty on a Sunday afternoon. I made Best Friend admire my jewelry, which I made last night and which features some silver and bronze elephants because I have a new sarong with elephants. Anyway, I’ve never seen or read A Midsummer’s Night Dream before, and I am GLAD I saw it before I tried to read it. My experience with Shakespeare is that it’s better seen than read and this is especially true in a bedroom farce. If I was just reading it, I would never have been able to remember both men loved Hermia before Helena and I would have been confused.
Anyway, my mom and I went to the grocery store and completely disregarded her ex-boyfriend’s wants for once. This was nice because she broke up with him almost a month ago and yet he still lives in our house and acts like a jerk. We normally spend (when shopping for all three of us) over a hundred dollars per week. This week we each did our own shopping and while we can’t cook any sit down meals or anything, we will both be fed and happy for less than forty dollars. But ex-boyfriend gets mad about how much the grocery bill is. When that’s the only bill he pays at my house. And clearly, we can do it for less if he ate like one person instead of three. Kind of can’t stand that guy.
Question: How many skirts with elephants can one woman own before its excessive?
Answer: One, and that’s pushing it.