Monday, February 6, 2012

Another edition of "Things that made me laugh"

So I haven't compiled a list of things that made me laugh lately, but I have a few things stored, and I'm stuck awake at four in the morning (on a work night thank you very much for trying to kill me) with an ear infection, so... I guess now's as good a time as any to share.

"Now I'm running three times a week, and wishing it could be more. I'm still terrible at it, mind you -- it's like watching a fat bird trying to escape the tyranny of its own legs" (This made me laugh because that is EXACTLY how I think of my runs)

From the same Cracked article as above (and also exactly how I thought about exercise until recently). "Exercise was forever cemented in my mind as 'that weird thing pretty people do with their limbs sometimes.'"

This may only be funny to an historian, but I love it. "Formosus was found guilty on all charges, of course, though the trial practically screamed for an appeal. The late pontiff's only defense was mounted by a cleric kneeling behind his throne, who answered Stephen's seemingly rhetorical questions ("Why did you usurp the papacy?!") for Formosus by explaining, "Because I was evil!" Historians do not relate whether the cleric set up a pulley device to make Formosus' jaw move up and down while he spoke for him, so we must assume that he did." Honestly, if historians failed to relate something awesome, just assume it happened. History is awesome enough that this is fairly foolproof.

"Hitler. Stalin. Ivan the Terrible. We all love these guys. Which is to say, we hate them and everything they stand for, but we're secretly glad they existed. Otherwise we'd have to learn about the cultural and political tensions behind world history, as opposed to boiling it down to 'there was a bad guy who made crap happen because he was evil.'" More

"True, he wasn't as good as Mozart, but if you don't see a difference between "not as good as Mozart" and "a talentless bum," your standards might be a bit high." again.

From the same article (even the same section) as above "If your idea for murdering your most hated enemy is "I'll scare him to death with a gho-o-o-ost, woooooo!" you're less a murderer than a writer for Scooby Doo."

Not funny, but awesome enough to share- "Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming 'WHOOOO-HOOOOO! What a ride!'" -uncited on Pinterest

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