Sunday, June 27, 2010

It's A Funny Story

So one of my coworkers has a daughter who's in my class. I couldn't stop myself from texting her some funny things the daughter did this week and now I want to share those texts with you...

-She just told me she doesn't like anything with sugar no candy or cookies and that grapefruit with sugar is to sweet, she likes it with salt :) [this is the kid who asks me for a freeze pop almost every day]
-We learned that Jesus is the bread of life and then she asked me if i eat bread. I told her i do and she goes "then you eat flash" [somehow she got the idea that I don't eat "flesh" even though I try to keep it simple for them and say meat]
-she would like to know (asked as she eats grapefruit with her spoon) why you didn't pack her a spoon today

this is the same kid who made me a card when my dad passed away a few years ago. She knows I like to chew gum, so she thought she would make me feel better by taping a gum ball inside the card! She was five at the time, so her mom and I both said no when she asked if she could go to the funeral, but it was pretty adorable anyway.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Stupid Bank

Imagine my shock and dismay when I got an email from my bank...
"We are writing to inform you there are insufficient funds in your account to cover your most recent transaction." Which was seventeen dollars at Jewel so I could eat dinner. I currently have more than seventeen dollars in my account (dude I told you I was poor right?). So either my bank cannot subtract OR someone is stupid and stealing my identity, like steal from someone with a better credit rating dumbo cause let me tell you, the most you're gonna get under my name is a credit card with a hundred dollar limit. I'm almost embarrassed for an identity thief to steal my identity right now. Like "Sorry it wasn't worth your time to steal my identity. At least it's pretty much a misdemeanor instead of a felony buddy. Count your blessings." Either way, I think I'm in trouble.
Also, since I got five emails about this, let me reassure you...both of my tests came back negative. I do not have cancer. I have benign cysts. The problem is the doctors do NOT mess around if you might have cancer. They test that stuff, just in case. Which would be fine, if I had insurance. No, I kid, I feel better knowing I'm healthy, it's just my physical health affects my financial health.

**Update** Nothing ever happened as a result of that email from my bank. I had exactly as much money as I thought I had. Weird!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

So Many Things

Oh internet, I have so many things to tell you. First of all, my poor friend from high school has been waaaaiiiiting for her brand new teeny tiny (she’s adopting) and she got picked and the baby was due to be induced. June 3. Then June 17. Today is June 16. She was told today they will induce on Monday.
Also, when you work in daycare, your FAVORITE part of the job is the day your state supervising agency shows up. Especially when the last time they came your center was issued 18 citations (17 of which were for stupid things like a rip in the carpet in a part of the church we don’t even use and one of which was for a teacher who deliberately broke rules). That was two years ago. They came again on Tuesday, which was a week later than she was supposed to come (which screwed up my plans). We were issued zero citations and the DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) lady complimented me and my class alone three times. Awesome!!
For the second time this year I had to blow three hundred dollars on peace of mind. That is, internet, I found a lump. Two separate times. My doctor (I use the term loosely since I visit a clinic when I have medical needs) made me spread $300 on a test to find out I have cysts. Twice. Assuming you can read (I hope I can assume that since you’re reading this), you know I am supposed to leave on vacation in just over two weeks. Interent, that was all my vacation money. I am now hundreds of dollars in the hole. Joy.
Hopefully next time, I will be able to tell you that my friend had her baby, my verbal compliments made it onto paper, and I figured out where to cut costs. Otherwise, have a fantastic day!!
**Update** bio mom gave birth on Monday, on Tuesday my friend found out bio mom had changed her mind and wasn't giving up the baby, so their back to waiting and hoping and praying to be picked :(

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Parents SUCK*

Internet, let me tell you about my job. In case you didn’t get the memo, I am an afterschool care teacher, but since it’s currently June and the kids are out of school, I’m running a summer program. I love the summer program, it’s my favorite part of my job. At my center, the teacher last year literally took them outside four times (which is not an exaggeration, it’s totally true). And we had a NICE summer last year, fairly cool, never really hot the way it usually gets in Chicago suburbs in July. This year we’ve been on summer vacation for four days. Friday was the first day of summer and my students helped my rearrange the kindergarten room into the school age room, and were rewarded with a walk by a nearby creek. Except one of them decided to slide into the water and got wet. His mom is one of my coworkers and while she wasn’t pleased, she arranged dry shoes for him and acknowledged that she should have been prepared. Monday we went for another walk, during which a little girl purposely ignored directions and got her feet wet, meaning she spent three hours with wet feet. Her mom rolled her eyes a bit and commented that she’d bring water shoes and in the future she’ll bring us a change of shoes if we call her. I also sent home a note that clearly read, “To ensure your child’s comfort throughtout the day please be sure to send shoes they can get wet AND dirty as we will go outside EVERY day except in the case of lightening.” My boss assured me there was no way parents would not understand that. Tuesday it rained (lightening free). I cleverly changed them all into their water shoes and we went for a walk. When we got back, I changed them all into dry shoes. Or so I thought. The little girl’s other shoes were still wet from Monday, which if I had known I would have had her wear those outside, but she did what her mom told her. So she was stuck in damp shoes. Guess which of the following happened next
a) Mom complained to my boss and now we can’t go for walks in the rain ever again, and we can’t visit our creek unless EVERYONE has water shoes and a change of clothes
b) I got an angry letter from the mom saying that she wants her daughter to wear the appropriate shoes for the activity and she doesn’t understand why I put her in the wrong shoes yesterday
c) Daughter threw up at school today and got sent home sick, which made mom tell me on the phone that I wouldn’t like it if my kid sat in wet shoes for “two hours”
d) Mom told me when she picked up daughter that daughter should not get wet again (except that we have a weekly water day, so…)
e) Mom put daughter in car and went upstairs to yell at my boss again before coming back down to YELL at me that “this would be the last incident like this because if it ever happens again [she’d] have no choice but to call downstate to report us”
f) ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!
If you didn’t guess F you are probably a moron. I literally went upstairs to tell my boss about the threat of DCFS (our state governing body) and found out that boss was gone and it was assistant boss. Who is the coworker who was upset about her son’s shoes getting wet on Friday. I asked her and the aid (who also has a kid in my class) if they’d prefer their kid come home damp/dirty but happy and exercised or spotless after a day sitting in class playing video games. They both chose damp and happy. As did my other coworker with a kid in my class. And my boss called me (on her afternoon off) just to let me know she’s on my side, and I did nothing wrong so I shouldn’t worry about losing my job (which is what I do if a parent so much as blinks at me). Needless to say it was wine coolers for dinner tonight (that being the strongest alcohol we had in the house). And thank GOD that little girl can’t come back tomorrow (due to the throwing up) because I would not have handled that mom well, and now my boss will be back to deal with her for me!
***Take the poll on the right and tell me which you think is better, damp and happy or clean and dazed from video games. I want to know how many people agree with me!!**
***Update*** those of you who took my poll, all agreed damp and happy is best. Thanks for agreeing with me!!
*Not all of them clearly, just a few who send their kid to my school

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Personal Moronics

So when I was writing lesson plans for the summer I decided on “Peace, Love and Recycling” as our first theme. Then I adapted Love to include tolerance for people who are different. In my class, there are two major groups that I needed to focus on. I have one little boy who is racist against African Americans, and several children who know nothing about Muslims and the Middle East other than what they’ve heard in fits of post 9/11 racism. I decided that one of the books we would read would be Arabian Nights (so we could talk about Middle Eastern culture) and then set about looking for an illustrated children’s copy. I found illustrated adult copies that were inappropriate for my class. I found children’s copies with no pictures. I decided to give up on the illustrated copy and started making my own figures and felt board it. Internet, you will NOT believe where I found an illustrated children’s copy yesterday. I spent the day reorganizing and preparing to take some things to the used bookstore. I walked over to the shelf I keep my pretty books on, not to give any up, but to admire the books I don’t often read because I own a more practical copy. The second book in line was the book I have looked high and low for these last three weeks. I am clearly a moron.

Birthdays

This weekend I helped two friends celebrate birthdays.
Friday was pizza and hanging out with friends from high school. That was awesome. It was especially nice because both of the friends who were there are also vegetarians (one long standing, one fairly new) and so there was no bickering about what to get on the pizza, it was supportive I even got a high five or three from the long standing vegetarian. And birthday friend paid, so that helped my budget. Thanks birthday friend!! Also conversation ranged from “explain why men like lesbians so much?” and “totally worth the extra bucks to buy the ribbed” if you know what I mean ;) to Balzac, Lolita, world economics and the phrase coupe d’├ętat in casual conversation. I got home a little after two. And had to get up at seven to pick up the nephew.
After a three hour nap when nephew went home, it was time to get ready for my best friend’s birthday (which is really Tuesday). We went to a nice restaurant, but sticking to vegetarianism was kind of hard. In the end I was satisfied with my choice, so it’s fine. Then games, ice cream cake and plenty of wine at my friend’s grandma’s house. I spend so much time with best friend and her family that I accidentally called her grandma just "grandma" today. Dork! Now it’s two am (again) and I have to get up in the morning because best friend has friends coming from out of town for her birthday tomorrow and I want to play with them.
Did I mention that before all this chaos, Friday was my first day full time at work? A parent yelled at me because her kid got dirty and wet. Because we played outside, which was apparently not a good first day back choice. I’m ready for vacation now.
Oh! And, my birthday is the day we leave on vacation. So we can’t eat where I want, there will be no cake (because it doesn’t travel well), and I have to get up at nine to leave on time. And I can’t do anything with friends who aren’t going with, because the weekend before is a holiday (Fourth of July) and the weekend after we’ll still be on vacation and it seems silly to make everyone get together for my birthday so long before or after, especially since we just did it or will do so again for other reasons (depending on the group). Aaand, I am a whiney loser, so that's sad :(