Monday, November 29, 2010

Cremain Thief

A few months ago my friend’s uncle passed away and was cremated. The other day her aunt called her in tears. She went into the closet where the ashes were kept to scatter some of them per her husband’s wishes, only to find them missing. Her house had been broken into a few weeks ago and the thieves apparently stole the cremains.
I know that sounds like a terrible story, but really…think that through. How dumb were those thieves to steal a medium sized white plastic bag with the words “Funeral Remains” written in black letters on it? What did they think that grey dusty material was? More importantly, did they smoke it or otherwise try to use the remains to get high only to find themselves coughing up dust? Also if they ingested the cremains, are they now either cannibals or zombies?

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