Apparently I laugh often, and need to share what I find funny, because this is the third time I’ve written a post where I did nothing but quote funny things out of context hoping you’ll find them amusing too. This time almost everything funny is from the archives of a blog I just found (clearly since I enjoy it, but don’t know this person I have to catch up via archives). Enjoy!
“I’m pretty sure “poetic license” is when you blame Robert Frost for all of your own personal shortcomings. Which I try to make it a point to do at least three times a day.” Reply to a comment over at Motherhood in NYC
When swimming, “I like to stay on the surface. Where there are no sharks.” Motherhood in NYC
“Maybe it’s because I stood in bread lines in the pre-Atkins Soviet Union, but I just refuse to get in line.” Once again Motherhood in NYC (this time about trying to get a replacement social security card)
“I said ‘I’m writing about something that I will not discuss in real life.’ And she said ‘What?’ and I don’t know what kind of CIA-trained operative could withstand THAT kind of cross-examination, but I cracked instantly” Motherhood in NYC
“I’ve never seen an episode of Veggie Tales. I think we just get the carnivore channel.” I have no idea where this came from. Somewhere on the internet? Claim it if you wrote it!
“Poison Ivy, a supervillainess who can grow plants and make men fall in love with her (essentially, the superpowers of an attractive woman with a garden).” Cracked.com’s BatBattle
“My daughter was about 12 and we sent her to a multi-day seminar. One of her homework assignments one evening was to step into an elevator and face everyone while saying, ‘I suppose you all are wondering why I called you here.”’ Messing with people is always entertaining!
“I can’t even blog about my husband slowly throwing away my comfy cotton briefs and leaving me with a drawer full of hanky pankys.” Commenters are fun!
“You probably want to wait to paint until after they seal it, otherwise when they do their thing, they’ll ruin your thing with the thing.” –my mom’s boyfriend
“Be wery wery quiet. I’m hunting seamstwesses.” -Kristin’s AIM status this week as she deals with an alteration problem with her dress for Jamie’s wedding (next week).
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