So...about three months ago I told a friend of mine that I found him attractive and I didn't really want to be just his friend. After several long, emotionally draining discussions of why I feel that way and that, although he was attracted to me, he didn't feel it was appropriate for a variety of reasons, eventually I kissed him in a parking lot. I'm not a hundred percent sure at what point we were dating, but after a few weeks we had the talk about only seeing each other, so we were definitely dating. And I liked him. A lot. I was having a great time because he was my friend and I could talk to him about stuff, but there was this like extra thing there. I was a little blindsided about three weeks ago when he decided he was done.
All of that is really just background, because now we get to the fun new thing. I liked dating when I tried it (for the first time in years) last fall. I really liked it when I tried it this year. So I decided to keep doing it. And now I'm online dating. Like I made a dating profile, and am now exchanging slightly flirty messages with strangers. I won't lie, I'd prefer hanging out with the friend who was more, but... this is fun too. I think. I'm not a hundred percent sure yet.