Imagine my shock and dismay when I got an email from my bank...
"We are writing to inform you there are insufficient funds in your account to cover your most recent transaction." Which was seventeen dollars at Jewel so I could eat dinner. I currently have more than seventeen dollars in my account (dude I told you I was poor right?). So either my bank cannot subtract OR someone is stupid and stealing my identity, like steal from someone with a better credit rating dumbo cause let me tell you, the most you're gonna get under my name is a credit card with a hundred dollar limit. I'm almost embarrassed for an identity thief to steal my identity right now. Like "Sorry it wasn't worth your time to steal my identity. At least it's pretty much a misdemeanor instead of a felony buddy. Count your blessings." Either way, I think I'm in trouble.
Also, since I got five emails about this, let me reassure you...both of my tests came back negative. I do not have cancer. I have benign cysts. The problem is the doctors do NOT mess around if you might have cancer. They test that stuff, just in case. Which would be fine, if I had insurance. No, I kid, I feel better knowing I'm healthy, it's just my physical health affects my financial health.
**Update** Nothing ever happened as a result of that email from my bank. I had exactly as much money as I thought I had. Weird!