Banking Fun

So the other day I went to the bank to deposit my paycheck so I could go Christmas shopping. I went through the person teller instead of the automated one, so the money would be available immediately. An hour later, there was no money in my account. Five hours later, no money. Twelve hours- you guessed it, no money. I called the bank's service center seeking out my funds and was told that they didn't even have a pending deposit listed (which I knew because I had checked on the internet). So the next day I drove to the bank AGAIN and blew my entire break to figure out the trouble. Turns out they had put my money in my mom's account because they only check the last name and the address and I haven't changed my driver's license yet. It took them over a day, and my pointing it out to them before they fixed it. Plus, knowing there was some kind of issue, the banker who was trying to fix it, who had my driver's license in front of her, never checked my first name as evidenced by the fact that after looking things over for a few minutes she confirmed my phone number (I told her I didn't recognize teh number she said and she didn't really seem troubled) and my place of employment- which I did recognize. As my mom's. This was all super exciting as I still wasn't done Christmas shopping and needed to hit the mall. Not to mention the automated payments and trip to the gas station I made before I realized there was a problem. Thankfully the bank did take care of any drama on that part so I didn't have to figure it out or demand that they fix anything.

Stupid Bank

Imagine my shock and dismay when I got an email from my bank...
"We are writing to inform you there are insufficient funds in your account to cover your most recent transaction." Which was seventeen dollars at Jewel so I could eat dinner. I currently have more than seventeen dollars in my account (dude I told you I was poor right?). So either my bank cannot subtract OR someone is stupid and stealing my identity, like steal from someone with a better credit rating dumbo cause let me tell you, the most you're gonna get under my name is a credit card with a hundred dollar limit. I'm almost embarrassed for an identity thief to steal my identity right now. Like "Sorry it wasn't worth your time to steal my identity. At least it's pretty much a misdemeanor instead of a felony buddy. Count your blessings." Either way, I think I'm in trouble.
Also, since I got five emails about this, let me reassure you...both of my tests came back negative. I do not have cancer. I have benign cysts. The problem is the doctors do NOT mess around if you might have cancer. They test that stuff, just in case. Which would be fine, if I had insurance. No, I kid, I feel better knowing I'm healthy, it's just my physical health affects my financial health.

**Update** Nothing ever happened as a result of that email from my bank. I had exactly as much money as I thought I had. Weird!

Pay your bill you idiot!

So here’s what I learned today. If you don’t pay your bills, they will stop providing the service for you. For example, if you are for some reason an idiot you thought your bill was due on the fourth, and are way to lazy to pay it early, and then it turns out to have been due on the first when you try to get online on the third, you cannot. In fact you will get this stupid error message when you try to make your air card connect and it will take ten minutes before you realize, d’oh I should probably pay my bill. I am not that idiot of course. This never happened to me. I am of course talking about a friend.
In other news, screw the niece and nephew, I am going to the zoo by myself on Wednesday. It’s the last day of the members only bear grotto opening and my SIL said she doesn’t want to take the kids out of day care for the day (because it’s expensive), so WHATEVER I can go all alone. I might end up seeing the bears and everything in the dark rooms (because Naty is afraid of them) and then read until five, because I’m not driving forty five minutes to the zoo to not spend the whole dang day there.