So it has clearly been to long since I last blogged, because when I went to sign on today everything was in chaos and there's some kind of crazy new thing going on. I took me like five minutes to figure out how to compose a post.
Excuses for not blogging-
1. I'm tired and cranky and I don't want to bog my blog down with all that nonsense
2. I changed to gmail and now I have to sign out of my email in order to write a post and that annoys me
3. I passed out a few weeks ago while I was out with friends and I didn't know how to tell the internet
4. I'm pretty sure that I see the people who read my blog like every week and if they read it online, what will we talk about in person?
Oh, what's that? You want to hear more about the passing out thing? Alrighty then.
So the other week I was all bored with life and I texted my friend Sarah (not the one you know about, but the other one that I've never mentioned before. Except that time that she was a new year's resolution and it was a little creepy, but also a little awesome) because I wanted to see if she wanted to hang out. Which she did. So we decided to go for a walk and then go get some pizza for dinner. After taking a fairly gentle two and quarter mile walk we picked up Leah and headed for pizza. So we're standing around waiting for our table and I was all "Man, I'm hungry. I should eat some of these peanuts conviently located on this table right here next to me". So I did. Except then when I had a peanut in my mouth I apparently passed out a little bit.
When I came too, there was an ER doc who happened to be waiting to get his seat standing nearby and he was all "We should call the paramedics. Sit down. Don't cross your legs." But I'm poor and I don't have insurance, so I was all "I'm fine. I just need to eat something." and then I passed out again and threw in a "small seizure" you know, for the fun of it. So then the paramedics really did have to come and my blood pressure was some ridiculous thing like 60/53- which is apparently scary. And the I worked out this mathematical word problem about paramedics-
If a regular guy is X points of hot on a scale of 1-100, he gains 10 points for being a paramedic and 20 points for actively helping me or one of my friends in a medical emergency. Meanwhile I am normally Y points of hot on a scale of 1-100 and lost 20 points for being "grey and scary looking". What is the maximum level of hot that the regular guy can be and still not be too hot for me?
I should point out that I wrote that word problem while sitting in the ambulance, although I cleverly didn't state it out loud to my friend's until I was safely home and away from the hot paramedic.
So anyway, while I was sitting in the ambulance tyring to convince the paramedics that I didn't need to go to the hospital and that I totally promised to go to the doctor ASAP Sarah bought the pizza we had intending on eating at the pizza place and we all went back to Leah's house. But my pizza had an odd texture and Leah made me spaghetti-o's. Because she's the best homeowner/roommate a girl could have :)
I did go to the doctor and her basic response was "We may never know why you passed out because all your test results are normal. Eat more protein." So that's what I'm doing.
I promise to get around to that promised edition of "Things that made me laugh" as soon as I can.